I believe that a healthy society needs happy, vibrant people. This includes men.
For anyone to feel authentically healthy and fulfilled, you must know what your values, gifts, and deep desires are, and act in accordance with them—while offering others the same respect.
Reciprocity, curiosity, and connection are at the core of every healthy relationship, including the one with yourself.
"Masculinity" needs redefining. Aligned masculinity is grounded, direct, empowering, reciprocal, supportive, and generative.
Misaligned masculinity is disconnected, controlling, manipulative, domineering, and dominating; it relies on shame, fear, and coercion to achieve goals. Aligned masculinity relies on collaboration, connection, focus, and reciprocity.
Aligned masculinity is not just passively "non-toxic," it is proactively a force for healing in the world.
And the world desperately needs this.
Far from masculinity being something we need to eradicate, we ALL must cultivate healthy masculinity.
We need healthy masculinity as much as we need healthy femininity, and healthy non-binary, and healthy everything. (And everyone has masculine energy, regardless of gender, sexuality, or orientation just like everyone has feminine energy and the full spectrum of other energies that cycle through us.)
When we turn our conscious attention to how we can align with these energies, we are able to tap into them as sources of power, collaboration, creation—and healing. That is a beautiful thing.
Dominator culture (“patriarchy” is one form) harms everyone, INCLUDING men.
If we want things to shift, we must understand this.
But the antidote isn't to swing to the opposite pole, it's collaboration. Switching the actors in the roles "at the top" does not dismantle the damage a dominator culture inflicts, it merely gives the oppressors a different profile.
Many people don’t yet realize this, which keeps us trapped in an endless flip-flopping binary of “us” versus “them.”
But there's another way: shifting systems of domination to systems of collaboration where EVERYONE benefits.
To me, the domination model that requires us to believe that there is one ideal model human, and that anyone who deviates from that is less valuable or even non-human, is the root of so many of the challenges we face on the planet today. Learning how to create habits, skills, systems, and nervous systems of collaboration help address racism, sexism, transphobia, homophobia, destruction of our natural environment--all of the damage that comes from a dangerous belief that we are separate.
I coach leaders of all genders who are ready to learn how to heal masculinity.
We’ll explore how systems of domination permeate our lives, and what skills and tools we need to commit to a culture of collaboration. This is what brings out the true, innate power and brilliance of human beings, as individuals and as a collective.
Collaboration is an open system: anything is possible, even new things never before considered. Domination is a closed system: few things are possible and acceptable.
Which one sounds evolutionary to you?
In our coaching collaboration, you'll explore these pathways to healthy power and connection:
We are living in an increasingly antiseptic, antihuman, anti-erotic world.
But our senses, sensuality, and eros hold so much of our vitality and power—this is how we know we are living in connection with all that is.
We take in data through our senses, and tap into our body’s wisdom.
Pleasure is how the system of the body tells us that we are heading towards homeostasis--part of our innate system of checks and balances.
Coaching with me is not just an intellectual experience: leadership is an embodied, somatic stance. I will invite and challenge you to explore how to tap into your own sensory intelligence with integrity, alignment, and pleasure.
My deep desire is to create a space to travel this path together, not become more siloed or polarized--and so I open this to all. While I often speak directly to individuals who identify as men and lay the foundation of how the systems of masculinity, manhood, and patriarchy intersect, ALL are welcome. I believe multiple perspectives are crucial to our growth, and I believe that this work is for everyone, whether we desire to heal our own masculinity or love someone who does.
I love working with game-changers and catalysts who understand that to shift at the individual level is to shift systems--and vice versa.
I focus on the intersection of individual transformation and systems evolution so we can understand the spectrum of opportunities and roadblocks we face in all aspects of our lives.
I know how to dive into our deepest, darkest places, AND how to play--I will invite you to do both.
If you are are ready to step out of the blame game and choose a more intentional, transformational path, this is for you. And for us all.
Healing Masculinity
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